OK – I know that we all LOVE our pets, they brighten our day and make us smile, not to mention all the scientific proof on how they elevate our moods. I understand, my dog and cat are members of my family – my nonhuman children. Apparently, there are different levels of this great affection we share for the cutesy little creatures we harbor in our homes. The other day my friend invited me to her dog’s first birthday party. Not exactly my style, but I’m always a fan of a good party. This party was complete with decorations, a puppy bday hat, a cake for dogs, cupcakes, ice cream, cocktails and hors d oeuvres. Apparently, this is not that uncommon, in fact some of you reading this right now may be planning your own pet’s birthday party at the moment. This got me thinking: what else is out there.. well here you go: 12 outrageous things you didn’t know you could get for your pet.
1. A Goldfish Walker
Allergic to pet dander? Feeling a little left out among your group of friends because you can only house stationary pets like fish? Well no more – with this goldfish walker, now you can join in on all the latest neighborhood gossip with your besties. 
2. A Portrait of Your Pet as a 17th Century Nobility
Ever look at your dog, and wonder what he would look like as the prince of France? Or try to imagine what it would look like if your cat could tell the masses to eat cake? If only you could time travel with your dog, because you know he would make a handsome 17th century Duke.. No more wonder necessary. No longer do you have to invent a time machine and travel back a few centuries equipped with your camera, we’ve got your needs covered.
.. If its not nobility you ponder, maybe its your cat drunk at the dinner table? …
3. A Cat Toilet Seat
I’m not gonna lie, this one is kind of awesome in theory. No more litter boxes! and lets be honest here, who wasn’t envious of the great Jinx from ‘Meet the Parents?” Whether it works or not is in question, so if anyone knows please let me know! I just can’t help but imagine those late nights bathroom runs, you know, the ones where you don’t want to wake anyone and you stub your toe on every protruding surface along your path. In the dark my house suddenly becomes an obstacle course and by the time I have no time to even check if the seat is down, let alone set in cat-mode. I don’t know about you, but i’m seeing a bunch of pee all over my pajamas and a stubborn cat that starts using your laundry basket when you take away his litter box. Who knows though.
4. A Giant Tongue or Mustache
..because who doesn’t want to see their pet with protruding, human-shaped facial features?
5. A Dog Collar that Acts as a Cooling Device.
This might actually make sense, that is if a vet could confirm that a pets neck was the heat regulating center of the dog. Hot summer day, your dog lives outside, a cooling collar is a very nice gesture. Whats most notable is the slogan: No more hot dog, chill out, bro here’s your cooling collar. The second dog certainly look much happier, and everyone loves to see a happy puppy. But isn’t this pretty much the same thing as giving your dog water and shade? or maybe take him inside on a hot day?
6. A Heating Sauna Station
Anyone who has ever owned a dog, knows they love to lay in the sunlight of a window. Whether its the chill of the winter winds, or the air conditioner blasting through your walls, our puppies love warmth. Maybe if they can’t find a window or nighttime, ok this makes a little sense. But its pretty unsightly. I love my dog but not enough to keep that thing hanging around my house (did i mention my nighttime obstacle course-toe stubbing issue?) It sort of looks like a giant waffle iron about to eat up your dog and turn him into a fun shaped breakfast platter. Maybe thats just me..
7. A Luxury Pet Bed
Sending your dog off to the future to be photographed as the Arc Duke of France in the 17th Century? or maybe she’s just going to sleep in this top-o-the line luxury doggy bed complete with temperature and humidity control, antibiotic air-filled environment, and carbon filter deodorizer.
8. A Doggy Hot Tub
I wonder if they’ve ever actually given a dog a bath before?
9. A Doggy Stroller
I can’t get my dogs to stop running around my house, but I guess when dogs are outside they like to sit still in this netted walking chamber.
10. A Bird Leash
…You’re dog may not want to walk, but your bird does.
11. A Bark/Meow Translator
This probably works.
12. A Dog Washing Chamber
…Because the laundry machine is inhumane.
AND A SPECIAL MENTION: A BIRD HOUSE COMPLETE WITH A VIDEO CAMERA
Now you can can stalk the birds at your house while your are at the office.. I have to admit though, this one is kind of cool. Bird enthusiasts get a chance to witness birds in a natural state without the disturbance of human beings. I’m pretty sure birds don’t really notice me on my porch, but I understand the market niche. Having said that, who really wants to sit around watching birds sit on a nest or a bunch of eggs chilling? Its just not my thing..
the daily Dapper 